Theorum I: The Art of Sex

i have a theory. the Art of Sex has very little to do with the Act of Copulation. copulation is something all mammals do; it's a biological imperative meant to enhance and/or propagate the species. there is no joy to it. it is a physical act: insert tab A into slot B, thrust repeatedly, and share some chromosomes. it lasts moments, a few minutes at best. it may or may not be pleasurable.

big f'ing deal.

yeah, i hear you. i get it. sex is great! sex is awesome! sex is hawt!  but you're missing the point i'm trying to make: sex IS great. at least, it can be.  but sex is not copulation.  at least, not in this gal's lexicon. 

as far as i'm concerned, the best part is the game. the pursuit. the fencing match. the dance between two individuals who are physically attracted to one another but who don't immediately give into their basest nature.  channel that energy into something Other. perhaps a creative outlet such as... writing a blog, for instance ;)  or painting a picture. or unlocking MRSA's mysteries. i think sexual tension is one of the most delightful sensations a woman can experience. but it's not having sex. not even close.

being skilled in The Art of Sex is a powerful tool, indeed. Cleopatra wrote the book, in my opinion. picture this: an 18-year old Macedonian queen who inherited a crumbling kingdom full of economic difficulties, famine, drought, corruption, and dangerous political conflicts. her kingdom was hemorrhaging tributes at a rapid rate.  so what does she do? she smuggles herself into the private chambers of the most powerful man in the world, seduces him somehow, and a short nine months later bears him a son. she convinces Caesar to back her cause (which for some reason he gladly does), and she once again becomes a powerful monarch in her own right.  here's the thing: he didn't need her; he was already married; she was not a beauty.  when Caesar is assassinated, she immediately beds one of the three dictators who ruled Rome following his death, bore him children, and safeguarded her kingdom in this fashion.  here's the thing: he didn't need her; he was also already married; she was still no beauty.  how did she manage all this?  what was her secret?  i believe it was The Art of Sex.  being attractive to a person doesn't have to be about physical beauty.  i believe it has more to do with intellectual prowess, the ability to shift on a dime, an aptitude in playful humor, and the resourcefulness to stay one step ahead of one's quarry without ever letting him think so.  they say the way to a man's heart is his stomach?  i politely disagree. i believe the way to his heart is through his head. keep him dancing, keep him guessing, keep him interested.  make him feel special, make him believe you're special. hell, convince a man that you are someone worth possessing and he will stop at nothing to acquire you.  but let's be clear here: there is no rule which states you must be caught.  never, ever let him think he owns you.  only let him believe he has tamed you.  if you can accomplish that, he will be yours in whatever capacity you wish.

your opportunities are endless, ladies...

...now let's see if i can successfully practice what i preach, shall we?

 

"You don't know and i don't care, so hard i know, it's not fair.
Get with me, i'll change it up like no one has before Knock it down i'll pick it up, put you on the floor
Oh, your love is cool, but don't you know Everbody's doin' it, you can feel it in the air"
~ Rudenko