The queen met with an almost full retinue of ladies-in-waiting this weekend. The mood was one of celebration and joy. Much of Aes Sidhe’s latest gossip was shared and dissected amongst the women in the spirit of good-hearted fun. However, much to the queen’s surprise, her ladies were prepared to delve into questions about the Princes which had not occurred to her at that point in time. They had many of their own personal faerie tales of less-than-chivalrous acts to divulge, and divulge they did! Our queen was left on her dais dumbstruck and fearful. Why didn’t I think of that, she asked herself. What if that’s true, she wondered. She walked away from that afternoon’s repast not in happy expectation but cautious anxiety. Our sovereign does not share the minutiae of her queenly duties with many, and when it comes to entertaining princes she can appear almost mute on the subject. Dysphonic. The ladies were all atwitter with the details she was willing to share, but rather than be happy for her some of the company appeared to be downright judgmental. It left our ruler with much to ponder.
I’m not certain what The Rules are. I haven’t reviewed He’s Just Not That Into You. I’m from Mars more than Venus. I don’t, as a rule, lie to members of the opposite sex (full disclosure: this rule does not necessarily hold true in business. But that’s a different ball of wax, now, isn’t it?). I don’t believe in fabricating stories in order to impress someone of romantic interest. I mean, what happens if you lie, and then that person does become interested in you, and then you have to disclose the truth? What a disappointment! No, yours truly may be making a mistake by being upfront and honest with these new friends I am making, but it’s who I am. And I am seeking The Gold Standard, don’t forget. I am not interested in the chaff. The chaff don’t really matter. Therefore, I am careful who I select to befriend, and I am careful about cultivating that friendship. Don’t be misled – I am not suggesting I have told anybody anything about my former kingdom. At least, I am acutely aware of the proper amount of spin control. But I am not going to willfully present myself as someone other than who I am. I wear many masks, that is true. But each mask is a part of me, and each mask represents a facet of my very-real personality.
My friends were frightening me for my own good, I think. I hope. I hope they weren’t frightening me for a darker purpose! And it isn’t to say they were all that way: two friends of that company in particular have been infinitely kind and gentle with me. They are simply happy I’ve decided to end my sentence in the Ivory Tower and rejoin the ranks of real human beings. I have been away for so long, Dear Readers! I cannot say whether what I am doing is for good or ill. All I know is that I am having fun, more fun than I have had in years. I like the new me. She is more aggressive and playful, not willing to be a subject in her own land. She is smart and funny and kinda sexy-bookish, if there even is such a term out there ;) Lady Eva says that Tina Fey could play me in the movie about my life. I take that as a compliment. But regardless of who plays me in the role, or whether there is a term such as “sexy-bookish”, I intend to move slowly forward with these and any other Princes who may catch my discerning eye. I was a prisoner for eons; now that I am free I intend to take full advantage of what life has to offer me.
I will not cower. I will stumble. Fall. Stagger. Recover. Fall again. Dance. Leap. Pirouette. Embrace. As long as that chain of events keeps me lively and happy, then I will continue on my merry way. My ladies-in-waiting, although protecting me with the best of intentions, have forgotten the simple fact that this is my second shot at life. What a blessing! How many of us actually have that, or even if we have it how many of us recognize it for what it is and take full advantage?!?!
No, the queen shall remain contemplative until the First of Dates. She remains cautious always. But she will not lock herself away, will not become inured to the joy of dalliance simply because it has injured others in the past. She hid for so long.
She’s done hiding.
“And tell me, is it a crime to have an ideal or two? Evolving takes it's time, we can't do it all in one go. Doesn't have to drive us all mad, we can only do our best. Let the mind shut up, and the heart do the rest” ~Howard Jones
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