Communication vs. Silence

Communication. And lots of it.

This is the crux of online dating. Emails. Voice mails. IM’s. Phone calls. Journals. “Winking”.  A myriad of communication resources, all of them utilized for maximum stimulation. For a writer such as myself, keeping up with this continual pace is not an issue. Words flow from my fingers quickly, and I pride myself in my timely responses.

So what happens when this world goes silent?

I have been in close communication with not only the Two Princes, but with two up-and-comers as well. I have not mentioned these two new suitors yet as it remains to be seen whether or not either or both shall grow from squire to prince. Daily communiqués have been the norm for III out of the IV up until this point, but for some odd reason the steel shutters have fallen hard and tight this week. If it were one Prince, such as Prince The Other White Meat who has lately been occupied with the practical business of life, I could understand and accept without question. If it were the Two Princes, I could also accept this firstly because of what I just said about White and secondly because Prince The Real Megillah knows he done me wrong last time. But the two squires as well?  What is going on?

Lady Chamberlain Heidi says that Mercury is in retrograde, which means that among other astrological items, communications become shoddy at best during this tumultuous time. Miscommunication is the norm during this period, which is supposed to last for a number of weeks!  Fie and fiddlesticks! I openly admit it – I miss the verbal ministrations from these suitors.  Where are they???

More importantly, however… why do I care so much?  When did I become so caught up in them that I cared not for my own company?  Why does the absence of these noblemen weigh heavy on my psyche?  Am I becoming addicted to the online attention? Am I seeking a kind of succor with these men, and not one of a physical kind per se, but a mental or emotional one?  Let’s face it, no solo queen wants to be without admirers. Every princess dreams of her knight in shining armor.  But I’m not seeking a knight; I own my battleclothes outright. I’m not seeking a king to replace Judas; I can rule Aes Sidhe quite well on my own, thank you. I’m not prepared to devote much time to any or all of these fellows; why should it bother me that they feel the same?

Nay, I have grown accustomed to speaking with one Prince above the other suitors, one fair of face and full of impish charisma. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how much until very recently, and now I am irritable and self-disgraced. I am tarrying where I should only be dallying. I need to purge. I need to cleanse my thoughts. I need to find balance, as it would behoove me to apprize one above another, especially at this early time in my newfound freedom.

I have decided to meet with Megillah again, for a handful of reasons. One, I don’t yet desire to give up my new friend, despite his mishandling of our last departure. Two, I want to see how much I enjoy his company, and a first date is a difficult gauge even under the best of circumstances. Three, I need proper distraction from my internal thoughts, and Megillah offers me the quickest opportunity for that.

Communication. I needs it. Is that wrong?

All we ever wanted was everything
All we ever got was cold
Get up, eat jelly
Sandwich bars, and barbed wire
Squash every week into a day ~ Bauhaus